By Rick Bird
Post staff reporter

Cicadas are music to some people's ears, especially those at local radio stations looking to have some fun with the water cooler topic of the month.

The Greater Cincinnati Chamber of Commerce has already released "17 Year Itch," a four-cut CD by four local acts that is getting local airplay. Now area radio stations are joining the cicada chorus with parody songs of their own about the bugs.

For WEBN DJ and production prankster Jay Gilbert, a cicada as Miss Chiquita Banana just popped into his head one morning.

"It seemed a natural," he said. "With that song, it sort of wrote itself."

So "Chiquita Cicada" became the latest parody song debuting this week on the station in a long line of Gilbert spoofs. His slightly bawdy cicada salute, to the tune of the Chiquita Banana jingle goes in part:

Meanwhile, at country station WYGY-FM (96.5 The Star), Jimmy Buffett was the inspiration for morning host Mike Stiles, also known for his parody songs.

Stiles cut "Cicadaville" to the tune of "Margaritaville:"

Stiles' tune works especially well since his slightly nasal voice sounds a lot like Buffett's. But he says he never thinks about actually performing in front of a real audience.

"It's amazing how much courage you have when you are by yourself in a room," he said. "I don't even do karaoke, yet."

Meanwhile WUBE-FM (B105) listeners are crying in their cicada beer with a heart-wrenching and hilarious parody tune from morning man Bill Whyte. It is a subtler cicada parody from the veteran jock, a musician and country songwriter in his own right. Whyte, who fronted country groups in the tri-state in the '80s, returned to the station as morning host earlier this year after a nearly 10-year absence from the market.

His "Cicada Lullaby" is as much a satire of the latest Brad Paisley hit as it is a commentary on the cicada invasion. Paisley's "Whiskey Lullaby" (featuring Alison Krauss) is as tear-jerker a country tune as you'll find. A man who lost his girl "put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger/ And finally drank away her memory." In a Romeo and Juliet ending, the girl also kills herself.

In Whyte's song his hero becomes a mass cicada killer as Whyte sings, "He put the zapper to their heads and pulled the trigger."

"Yes, this guy goes ballistic on the bugs," Whyte said, acknowledging the Paisley song is even a little too "stone country" for him.

Whyte even uses local steel guitar player Kenny Hollycross to recut the song and add the appropriate heartstrings-tugging mood. Whyte is joined on vocals by morning sidekick Amanda Orlando as they achingly sing:

Meanwhile, Chris O'Brien, morning host at oldies station WGRR, turned Paul Simon's "Cecilia" into "Cicaadaaaas, infesting my yard, your buzzing has been driving me crazy -- ." He also used the haunting sound of the old tune "Suspicion" to create an ominous sounding cicada song. O'Brien says his listeners have also gotten into the act.

"One listener sent in 'Hey, Hey We're the Cicadas,' to the Monkees' tune. Another did, 'Grandma Got Swarmed Over By Cicadas' and one used 'Summertime' for a cicada themed song."

The Chamber's "17 Year Itch" can probably be certified a local hit record with the disc selling some 2,200 copies in the couple of weeks it's been out, featuring original songs from Abiyha, Buckra, Jake Speed and The Walker Project.

Chamber public relations manager Raymond "Buzz" Buse has used the disc as a tool to sell national media on stories about how Cincinnatians are a whimsical bunch laughing and singing through a cicada plague.

"GMA aired a snippet of Jake Speed last Friday," Buse said. "People magazine has called and asked for a cover of the album to use in next week's edition doing a spread on all things cicada."

Buse is still hoping CBS Sunday Morning essayist Bill Geist will come to town soon. "The thing we have in our favor is he can't come next year and do the story," Buse said.

The same is true for the cicada song parodies -- they have a pretty short shelf life.

"I'm not going to get to play this for another 17 years," says WYGY's Stiles about his "Cicadaville."

That's why WEBN's Gilbert is already on to a new cicada project.

"I'm playing with doing something with the 'Brady Bunch' theme, or in this case the 'Brady Brood,'" Gilbert said thinking out loud and singing, "Here's the story of a little cicada -- "

Hear excerpts of the wacky cicada songs at www.cincypost.com.